Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Desert Storm

Standing with you in the blistering desert winds under the blaze of the afternoon sun hanging high in the sky.

The need to move forward is undermined by the fear of being blown away.

Blown back to where I started. Alone.

In my heart lies the fear that all these will be over in an instance, the time it takes to extinguish a candle's light. I actually enjoy desert storms sometimes, they make me stronger.

I feel the desert winds corroding my skin. Hmm, I should have listened to Mama and dress myself in long heavy cotton robes.

Well, my mouth is covered by cloth, to prevent the sands of turmoil from entering my system. Even if it is uncovered, the roaring air will hinder my attempts to form the words I want to say to  you.

One warning: It hurts sometimes when sand gets into your eyes, because you cannot clear them away. Your fingers are coated, and they look like they will crumble away.

I grew up in these gales. Conditioned to the harsh climate. My Colossus skin deters the grinding sands. My eyes are wide open. My ears hear beyond the howl of the wind. I move forward, slowly and steadily, like the slow and sturdy thumping of an elephant's heart. I have survived twenty long years, and I will survive more. I am sure yours are too.

I did not choose to be born in a desert. I have never blamed my mother for not holding me off until she arrived at a place with calmer living conditions. Maybe a few times when I was younger. Honestly, I am fine with this.

I think my call was answered the day that star fell from the sky. It occurred when Aries tried to balance on Libra's scales. Those unbalanced scales. That playful ram jumped onto the left plate and shook everything out of place.

And the star fell. It looked like an angel tumbling across the sky when she lost her momentum in her hurry to make it in time for the annual meeting. The star brought with it Bliss.

But it stirred up so much sand, that the winds slowed down their pace. The viscosity might kill though.

I'll try to love this desert storm.

Only worry is that I will be unable to move forward and talk with as much ease as before. I have so much to tell you. I guess you cannot hear well enough in this thick and fluid wind. I want to move along side you, but sometimes you cannot see me in this blinding wind. I am certain that you are still distracted by that cactus that you passed by a long time ago, before that star dropped from the sky. You are still wondering if the dull flowers signify anything. They do not, really. You'll need time to get the image of the cactus out of your head.

I hope you can still see me in this mess.

Sometimes when the winds are a little calmer, I look up into the clear sky and try to look into the deep dark realms of outer space. I saw Aries, and he told me that he will not hop around anymore. Well, I guess this will be the last time that these thick fluid winds will happen. I hope. Though I am fine with the winds, I am afraid that I will get tired after a while. These turmoils that we few pitiful desert wanderers have to endure. I wonder how the rest of the world is doing.

Life's like this. I learnt this by listening to the nomads' song that comes from a distance sometimes when they pass by on a clear day. It is a strange feeling to have.

Sometimes I worry that you, my only human companion will lose your way and stop accompanying me. What if you die before I do? It'll be a hard journey ahead if my only friends are scorpions and snakes. If I die of heatstroke or dehydration, hunger or of a scorpion's sting, what will you remember me for? Will you write my name in the dunes only to let the winds blow it away?

It's strange though, I would not have met you if that star remained sparkling in the sky.

I'll share something with you. You want water?

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